A couple of months ago, I read a book called ‘Messy Spirituality’.
My favorite chapter was chapter five. “Resisting the Resisters” it was called. This chapter gave me such joy. In a way, it released me from the depression of constantly being under the condemnation of the opinions of others and the “more spiritual” people than I.
I eagerly read about different people released from different kinds of depression and saved by the unending and forever love of God. God will never stop loving us! I realized that as I read that chapter. I mean, I knew that before, but this time that recognition had a whole new meaning for me.
I’ve always been the most average girl, who desperately wants to be noticed by everybody else, as somebody important. Somebody mature. Somebody who always knows what to do.
But I have to admit to myself that that’s just not who I am. I’m not that important. Most of the time I’m goofy and immature. I usually don’t know what to do in hard situations. I usually don’t search for the Opinion that matters the most: God’s.
This chapter helped me to realize that that’s not who I am.
Who I thought I was is now a total stranger to me. I look at the girl in the mirror and see a reflection that’s so familiar; somebody that always smiled at me. But my heart is so unfamiliar it takes my breath away. After I read this chapter, I set the book down in my lap, and clasped my hands together. I prayed to God and asked Him to let me be that same person who I am at home, and youth group, with friends, and with leaders.
So, I guess, this is who I am. A girl set apart by God, somebody who loves Him. We may blend into the background, seemingly unimportant compared to other “spiritual” people. But that’s not true; I realize that now.
I’m important in God’s family; I have a unique purpose in the Storybook of God. My life is written out on a page in His Book, part of a chapter in His Story. Without my part in His Book, His Story wouldn’t be complete. Yes, the world can go on without me. Yes, nobody will die if I’m not present. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have a purpose.
This is who I am!